The Chair at the Counter is Taken

The evening at the pub : One lady sitting at the counter, alone. She is smiling looking at the screen of her mobile phone, seems busy in texting with someone. The next moment she puts aside her mobile phone and sips her drink. She picks up the fork and the spoon and gently manages to make small slices of the chicken. Her red colour handbag is kept on the table and a huge shopping bag is kept on the floor beside her long chair. She apparently is looking laid back and totally enjoying her own company. She is going smooth with her own company.  Lady 2 : A pillar, a narrow stylish table, a chair and all of them positioned slightly at the corner of pub. The attendant (I like to call stewards as attendants because they take care of our needs at such places) is all smile for her. She is carrying a huge office bag and her make up is little faded hinting that she has come to the pub post office. She orders her drinks, which are being served one by one. She is also looks quite happy with herself. Pretty she is. Then why sitting alone over her drinks ? Perhaps she too is at ease with her own company. Table 3: Silver hair, bulging belly, wearing some comfortable cloths. This man is deffinitely looking fresher than the two other ladies. But he is also alone! He has been alloted a long chair at the counter but at the other end from the lady. The guy appears to be cool and ordered 2 vodka at one go. At ease with himself? Perhaps. Do you think these three are different ? Exclusive kind? No. To cater with the rush of sich lone dates the pubs are rearranging more and more single long chairs or some corners. If you enter there and tell the attendant that you are not joing any group there and not even expecting anybody they will automatically take you to the chair of your comfort. They somehow understood that this guest is here by choice. They want to enjoy and date themselves so they are here. Like the counter lady confessed - "I have come here alone and by choice. It is not that I do not have friends to accompany me. But I wanted to sit alone and spend sometime with me. I wanted to enjoy my drink alone. If someone is going to judge me for that, believe me I care a damn." They say internet has interfered in human relations making people lonely. Is it? These peoplr are definitely not lonely people. Had they been lonely they could have gone to any place on earth but for choosing a fancy pub with good music. If you onserve them you will find out none of there bothered if they are being checked out or not.  I would like to say that people are maturing. They are realising the value of themselves. Now they, atleast few of them know that there is no harm to treat yourself. There is no harm to invest and love ownself. May be they are making a distance from being judged to being ownself,apologetically. But it is truly a delight to see such 'single' people around who are at ease with themselves. Atleast they are giving it a shot. Cheers to such spirits. Thumb up. 

Chanda - Wish I could tell you this

I was watching Noor. Noor’s Malti reminded me of my Chanda back in Patna. All these years of my stay-alone but smart in Patna would have drained out without her by my side. The idea of staying alone is such exciting that every other details of running a house on your own gets blurred. It’s like Love is Blind. But it does not take long to discover the end of honeymoon period. During that period only Chanda arrived in my life. She is such stupendous calculative working woman with two kids and a part time present husband who hardly ever bears their expenses. But Chanda is unstoppable and magician. Why? At the time of her appointment she was categorically told to come by 9 to 9.30 in the morning sharp. And I was relaxed. Then I returned from work, had dinner, keep on checking incidents, watched some trash movies on TV till 2.30am and went to sleep. But the calling bell banged at 7am in the morning. Freak me opened the door and there Chanda is standing with her watermelon smile. I was shocked. What the hell is she doing here so early when parents are not around and I stay alone! Her great reply was she thought of chopping off the veggies so that I could cook before I leave for work. I mean..well.. And the drama now started. She used to brought her kids to work which were considered as pleasant visits. They loved banana and Salman Khan. The elder one used to like to sit on the chair while the younger one used to think my 2-BHK was a small ground. Sweet were those mornings. Then I had to fall ill too. Let me tell you, when I fell ill I am a real cry baby. I love the attention, pamper and care. But when you stay alone it makes you super cranky. So I had Chanda touch. She used to address me Diddi in a very typical style. She never bothered to offer all the extra chores if I was not in mood to do. And it is also true that she used to be randomly absent from her work when my Mom used to be around. It was a lovely Tom & Jerry show to enjoy. I remember her try to read the newspapers at my place. She used to take some Hindi tabloid, sit on the floor during her jharu chore and read. The Hindi expert in me tried to assist her. This habit of hers amazed me. I used to insist her to sit in the bed but she refused gently so we never had any further discussion over it. I respected her self-esteem. She being a North Indian married woman with kids did not bother to be dependent on her husband. She planned her life. Her articulation, calculation, determination influenced me. I learnt from her, her struggle, professionalism and her watermelon smile. I wish I could tell her this.She was my support system, the smoothness provider to run my show uninterruptedly.

The smell of You

I had stopped reading. Recently my little sister who wanted to buy me a book sent me several options. She got irriitated with me as each book of the list was read by me. Finally she successfully delivered me a book that is still unread. And it banged my head and heart as well that I had stopped reading. I was always a 60-70 percetile student. But yes I am little well read, beyond the board syllabus.  But strangely in last one year, I did not read. There are months when I did not read a single printed word. Being a journalist I had several mornings when I didnot pull up the newspaper. The black words just simply did not attarct me. And why only the words, nothing in this world attracted me. Then the other day I stared at my books, the assets I have collected over the years. Some originals, some second hand, some pirated, some classics in torn pages... I asked myself why I have landed here. The answer is I was fighting two demons inside me - depression and anxiety. Each of them are deadly and the combo offer is something deadliest. One tells you to dark your room and to have an eternal relationship with your bed. While the other will push your brain to constantly worry about the things which bothers you. The 2017 world health day was about deperession. But did we talk about the people or it was only about the word? No idea really. But I know people around me who are everyday fighting with the demons. Many of them do not recognise it and the rest will not accept it.  But acceptace not only by yourself, your acceptance by your own set of people is half the healing process. We everyday fight to win over,to get back ourselves. We do extreme exocism on ourselves to get rid of the demons. Meanwhile, we react. We judge. We take wrong decisions. And then recognise and rectify. We constantly work on ourselves. We all are sorry to the people we hurt during the journey but more than sorry we are thankful to them to be part of our journey. For bearing us to smothen the path.  I gave myself time to heal. I made myself priority which many a times is luxury in our social system. But I had too. Because I am 31 and I have been in a relationship with myself for the last 31 years. And for the record, I am happily reading three books at the same time like I always used to do. Sigh.